What I Wish I Knew About Making Friends In College
How Many Friends Do You Have?
Do they uplift, empower, and support you?
If you're heading off to college then figuring out what you need and want in your friends will help you determine which friends are worth keeping and which ones aren't. I have always struggled with making and keeping friendships throughout the year. I would often put the wants of friends before mine and do my very best to keep them happy. I would say that I was a people pleaser and never really knew if the friends that I had were going to last. Now that I'm getting older and know what friendships should look like. I've determined which friends you should surround yourself with and the friends you need to break away from. I've written down some things that should help you with making friends in college.
Advice on Friendships
- Get Out Of Your Dorm -If you don't know anyone then the best way to make friends is to be active around campus. Join organizations, go to your dorm's activities, and go to events around campus. Don't expect friends to come to you, get out of your comfort zone, and approach people.
- Don't Surround Yourself with Fakes - If your friend is constantly talking about other people or is very rude, obnoxious, and doesn't uplift you then you need to drop them. If they talk behind the friends back or is always spreading gossip, then that's not the friend you should hang around with. If they feel comfortable doing it to them don't think they won't do it to you.
- Surround Yourself with People who Inspire You - If you're not surrounding yourself with people who are smart, confident, inspirational, and have something going for them then you're not going to be uplifted. Your friendships should push you to do better and be better. If they're not you're wasting your time.
- Don't Be Close with People who Don't Share your Values -If you're a Christian and want to grow in faith then surround yourself with people who are doing the same. If you're not, then you're not helping your walk with God to strengthen. If you have morals that you believe in strongly then make sure the people closest to you share the same thing. You don't want anyone to detour you from your values.
- Don't Be Afraid to Walk Away -If you're not feeling the friendship don't be afraid to break ties. Be honest about how you're feeling and if they aren't willing to work on the problem you have with them then walk away. You can't change people and don't waste time trying to.
- Don't Have Cupcake Friendships - If you're friend never wants to talk about the important stuff or resolve problems between you then you're heading into a toxic friendship because you will always be arguing about the same thing. It's okay for you to distance yourself from people like this. You need friends who will talk things out and will be upfront with you. Anything less is a waste.
It sucks losing friendship but not every friendship you make is going to last. Learning to move on and evaluating what went wrong will help you not make the same mistake with the next friend. It's important that you hold your friends to a high standard because who you surround yourself is who is feeding into you. If you're around people who smoke, drink, and are negative you're bound to become someone like that. It's time to you become protective of your space and be conscious of who you let in because not everyone deserves to be your friend.
I hope you have an amazing semester and that you find friends that uplift, empower, and support you because we need more friends that bring out the best in us.
Question of the Day: What advice do you have for incoming freshman regarding friendships?